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Movie Train - FILM REVIEWS by Morgan Bell

 
Fresh critical film reviews by young Australian journalist Morgan Bell. A bight-sized opinionated analysis of popular movies and indie/art-house feature films. Explores plot, themes, characters, performances, soundtracks and film technique. Morgan Bell assesses movies in the context of what makes a successful cinema or DVD experience.

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Max Irons to replace Orlando Bloom in Pirates 4

April 9th 2010 19:00
Orlando Bloom will not be returning for the forth installment of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise.


Orlando Bloom



"Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides", due to be released May 2011, is set to start shooting any day now, yet Bloom's replacement has not been confirmed.

The most likely contender is Max Bloom, 23 year old Burberry and Mango model. Max is the son of iconic British film actor Jeremy Irons.

Bloom confirmed rumours that he will not be reprising the role of Will Turner during an interview at the Sundance Film festival. When an MTV film crew asked him if he intended to return to the character he replied:

“No, definitely not.”. continuing on to add, "I had a great time making those movies, I just really wanted to do different things ..."


Max Irons




Max Irons, son of actor Jeremy Irons, is interviewed for the MANGO website about fashion.





Max Irons session for Mango








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New Category: Movie News

April 6th 2010 20:38
There has been a call out for more "current news" here on Orble. Just the push I needed to reinvigorate the Movie Train.

I have been considering diversifying to enable me to post more frequently. I have a really specific format I like to post my reviews in, and when I don't have time to set it out as I like it I tend not to post at all.

The back-log of pending reviews is astronomical.

Maybe a touch of film industry speculation and gossip will grease my blogging wheels?


news





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Top 40 Films of the Last Decade (2000-2009)

January 11th 2010 19:43
Here are my Top 40 films of the last 10 years; the decade spanning 2000 through 2009.

1. Adaptation (2002)

Adaptation


2. Atonement (2007)
3. Dogville (2003)

Dogville


4. Last Days (2005)
5. Garden State (2004)

Garden State


6. Broken Flowers (2005)
7. Capote (2005)

Capote


8. Hedwig & The Angry Inch (2001)
9. Stage Beauty (2004)
10. Friends With Money (2006)
11. Transamerica (2005)
12. Gosford Park (2001)
13. Factory Girl (2006)

Factory Girl


14. Mulholland Drive (2001)
15. Wonder Boys (2000)
16. Mysterious Skin (2004)
17. Walk The Line (2005)
18. A Knights Tale (2001)
19. The Queen (2006)

The Queen


20. Death Proof (2007)
21. Iron Man (2008)
22. Revolutionary Road (2008)
23. Pans Labyrinth (2006)
24. Party Monster (2003)
25. Kinky Boots (2005)
26. Girl With A Pearl Earring (2003)
27. Stranger Than Fiction (2006)
28. Step Brothers (2008)

Step Brothers


29. Zoolander (2001)
30. Mean Girls (2004)
31. Down With Love (2003)
32. Ghost World (2001)
33. The Duchess (2008)
34. Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001)

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider


35. The Dark Knight (2008)
36. Sin City (2005)
37. Aeon Flux (2005)
38. Identity (2003)
39. Charlie & The Chocolate Factory (2005)
40. Intolerable Cruelty (2003)

Intolerable Cruelty













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REVIEW: Paranormal Activity

December 8th 2009 17:31
Summary: Worst movie EVER. I want a refund.

Directed & Written: Oren Peli

Starring: Katie Featherston, Micah Sloat, Mark Fredrichs

Paranormal Activity is not scary, it is possibly the least scary "scary movie" I have ever seen. I was surprised to see the IMDB list the running time as 86 minutes, because it felt like five hours. An expanse of excruciating tedium spliced with a few pedestrian plot points.

In the cinema I was literally hunched over the seat in front of me with my chin on my hands wondering when it was going to end. I was willing the film to end. End or have something happen. Nothing happens. Well, nothing even slightly interesting happens until the last two minutes. Paranormal Activity felt like it was once a moderately interesting short film which was padded out with unwitty banter and snooze-worthy exorcist cliches. I imagined a cliche insertion team being employed before cinema release with the director shouting: "I don't just want uneventful, I want unoriginal!"

Before penning this review I looked over what other critics found to like about this film. Apparently it is so scary people are leaving the theatres out of fear. Ah no, those people were leaving out of boredom. I felt so inclined my self. It was so unengaging I was becoming aware of the cinema seats and carpet and the gradient of the floor.

Worse acting than The Cube. Hammy and unconvincing. There is no atmosphere, no context, no character development. I have seen YouTube skits with more convincing characters. Was it filmed out of sequence? Because the characters seemed to fluctuate between being at their wits end to being not very worried at all. There is no tension building. Therefore it is not frightening. It looks like a draft student film project before final edit.

I actually can't believe this film is screening at cinemas. Whoever is marketing this film deserves some sort of award. This film will not scare the average thinking person. Its only appeal is for people who genuinely believe in ghosts and hauntings. It is for the superstitious and the devoutly religious. The rest of us are unimpressed, checking our watches, and pondering why Katie is wearing a bra to bed.

The only scary thing about Paranormal Activity is the amount of people handing over their cash to see it.

Katie (and her bra) in Paranormal Activity
Katie (and her bra) in Paranormal Activity





SPOILERS BELOW



Specific yawns and groans:

Clutching a cross in a bloodied hand when there had been no former mention of the character's faith. Why does the presence of a ghost (sorry, demon) cause instant Catholicism in the victim?

Spinning the camera around and around to hammer home the footage is amateur. Because layman (non-cinematographers/directo rs) are incapable of holding a camera straight or steady. How many home videos do you have where the camera is rolling around on the floor or upside down? None, right? The character holding the camera supposedly has a history of filming and loves gadgets and technology. So why are we feeling sea-sick?

Not another satanic voice modulation to signify possession.

Not another Samara from The Ring ending.

A ouija board? Really?

Worst acting EVER award goes to Mark Fredrichs as the psychic. Move over Wahlberg, Diaz, Kidman, you have some new competition: an extra from The Bold & The Beautiful (I'm not joking).

Psychic from Paranomal Activivity
The new bad-acting Mark: bold and (not so) beautiful








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TOP FIVE Foreign Language Films For People Who Don’t Like Subtitles

September 29th 2009 00:11
Sometimes watching foreign films can be draining, there is so much reading to be done.

Many of us like watching movies to zone out and the added task of reading can be a deterrent when selecting a title for the nights viewing.

Here are my TOP FIVE foreign language films for people who don’t like subtitles.


1. Run Lola Run (1998, German)

Run Lola Run


2. Apocalypto (2006, Central America – Mayan)

Apocalypto


3. Pans Labyrinth (2006, Spanish)

Pans Labyrinth


4. Life Is Beautiful (1997, Italian/German)

Life Is Beautiful


5. House Of Sand (2006, Brazil – Portuguese)

House Of Sand





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The Weepies: A Tear-Jerker Movie List

July 29th 2009 16:28
A list of films that have made me cry. Those emotionally manipulative, sad movies which have you reaching for a box of tissues and sobbing uncontrollably.

Not surprisingly my list contains a lot of death and sickness, animals and children. The unfairness of it all. The innocent coming to a tragic demise.

I do not usually get teary about straight-up romances. This list is more about friendship, companionship, parent/child relationships, and the torments of war and injustice.


1. My Girl (1991)

My Girl film poster



2. Beaches (1988)

Beaches film poster



3. I Am Sam (2001)

I Am Sam film poster



4. About A Boy (2002)

About A Boy film poster



5. Finding Neverland (2004)

Finding Neverland film poster



6. Life Is Beautiful (1997)

Life Is Beautiful film poster



7. Sicko (2007)

Sicko film poster



8. Marley & Me (2008)

Marley and Me film poster



9. Atonement (2007)

Atonement film poster



10. Stepmom (1998)

Stepmom film poster



11. Terms Of Endearment (1983)

Terms of Endearment film poster



12. The Bear (1988)

The Bear film poster





12. Steel Magnolias (1989)

Steel Magnolias film poster



13. Four Weddings & A Funeral (1994)

Four Weddings and a Funeral film poster



14. Boys On The Side (1995)

Boys On The Side film poster



15. Fried Green Tomatoes (1991)

Fried Green Tomatoes film poster



What films make you cry?



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TOP TEN Best Highschool Movies

June 14th 2009 15:55
1. Jawbreaker (1999)

Starring: Rose McGowan, Rebecca Gayheart, Julie Benz, Judy Greer, Pam Grier, Marilyn Manson (cameo)

Black comedy about a kidnapping gone wrong, and how blackmail can help an unpopular girl climb the social ladder.

Courtney: "Never send a rose unless dyed black as a warning. And if one is sent to you, destroy it along with the sender. Emotionally of course. It's not like we kill people... on purpose."

Jawbreaker



2. Heathers (1988)

Starring: Winona Ryder, Christian Slater, Shannen Doherty

Black comedy about a girl who would kill to be rid of the popular girl clique.

J.D.: "I like it. It's got that what-a-cruel-world-let's-toss -ourselves-in-the-abyss type ambience."

Heathers



3. Election (1999)

Starring: Reese Witherspoon, Matthew Broderick, Chris Klein

Black comedy about the politics of student elections, and the relationships between students and teachers.

Tammy Metzler: "It's not like I'm a lesbian or anything. I'm attracted to the person. It's just that all the people I've been attracted to happen to be girls."

Election



4. Mean Girls (2004)

Starring: Lindsay Lohan, Rachel McAdams, Tina Fey, Lacey Chabert

Examines the cliques at highschool, and the elaborate methods of teasing and bullying that go on between girls.

Regina: "Is butter a carb?"

Mean Girls



5. Never Been Kissed (1999)

Starring: Drew Barrymore, David Arquette, Molly Shannon, Jeremy Jordan, Jessica Alba, Leelee Sobieski

A nerd gets a second chance at highschool popularity when she goes undercover as a journalist to research teens.

Rob Geller: "See ya around the Cell Block, Mrs. Robinson."

Never Been Kissed



6. The Breakfast Club (1985)

Starring: Molly Ringwald, Ally Sheedy, Judd Nelson, Emilio Estevez, Anthony Michael Hall

Breaking down stereotypes in detention.

John Bender: "Sweets. You couldn't ignore me if you tried. So... so. Are you guys like boyfriend-girlfriend? Steady dates? Lovers? Come on, sporto, level with me. Do you slip her the hot beef injection?"

The Breakfast Club



7. Fast Times At Ridgemont High (1982)

Starring: Jennifer Jason Leigh, Sean Penn, Phoebe Cates, Judge Reinhold, Nicolas Cage, Eric Stoltz, Anthony Edwards, Forest Whittaker, Ray Walston

The seminal Cameron Crowe teen flick that launched a thousand careers.

Jeff Spicoli: "You dick!"

Fast Times At Ridgemont High






8. Ten Things I Hate About You (1999)

Starring: Heath Ledger, Joseph Godon Levitt, Julia Stiles, Alison Janney

A modern re-telling of Shakespere's "The Taming of The Shrew".

Kat Stratford: "Romantic? Hemingway? He was an abusive, alcoholic misogynist who squandered half of his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers."

Ten Things I Hate About You



9. Clueless (1995)

Starring: Alicia Silverstone, Stacey Dash, Brittany Murphy, Jeremy Sisto, Paul Rudd

A modern re-telling of Jane Austen's "Emma".

Cher: "It is one thing to spark up a doobie and get laced at parties, but it is quite another to be fried all day."

Clueless



10. Not Another Teen Movie (2001)

Starring: Chyler Leigh, Chris Evans, Jaime Pressly, Lacey Chabert, Molly Ringwald (cameo)

The ultimate spoof movie, taking off Sixteen Candles, Pretty In Pink, The Breakfast Club, Bring It On, She's All That, Cruel Intentions, Can't Hardly Wait, and many other predictable teen movie scenarios that have become common formulas over the last two decades.

After dismissing a girl with a hunchback, an albino girl, and siamese twins conjoined at the head as being "too easy" a challenge:

Jake: "No not Janie Briggs! Guys, she's got glasses and a ponytail! Aw, look at that, she's got paint on her overalls, what is that? Guys, there's no way she could be prom queen!"

Not Another Teen Movie






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TOP 15 Sci-Fi Movies from the Last 15 Years

April 22nd 2009 01:46
Sci-fi is one of my favourite genres, and within my favourite genre I will try to narrow down some of my favourite films.

Sci-fi can examine the human condition in ways that realism cannot. When a film is set in the future, or in space, or on another planet, the scope is so broad that the formulation of hypotheticals is boundless and free. I particularly like films about artificial intelligence (robots), genetics and cloning, and reevaluating perceptions of reality.

I have enjoyed the "classic" sci-fi films like Alien, Terminator, Star Wars, Blade Runner, A Clockwork Orange, Planet of The Apes, The Abyss, Short Circuit, Cocoon, and Close Encounters.

I have cringed at The Cube, Lawnmower Man, Waterworld, Logans Run, Rollerball, Transformers, and Battlefield Earth.

I can even appreciate light-hearted "entertainment" sci-fi like Galaxy Quest, Back To The Future, The Fifth Element, Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy, Total Recall, and ET.

However being a child schooled in the 90s, my absolute favourites are those more serious, thought-provoking sci-fi films from my own generation. I believe sci-fi is getting better and better.

Here are my TOP 15 from the Last 15 Years:

1. Star Trek Nemesis (2002)
2. Gattaca (1997)
3. Aeon Flux (2005)
4. The Matrix (1999)
5. The Island (2005)
6. The Truman Show (1998)
7. The Final Cut (2004)
8. Vanilla Sky (2001)
9. Stargate (1994)
10. Serenity (2005)
11. Sunshine (2007)
12. Contact (1997)
13. A.I. (2001)
14. Soldier (1998)
15. Battlestar Galactica (2003)

Tom Hardy as Praetor Shinzon (Captain Picard's clone) in Star Trek Nemesis











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February 16th 2009 13:25
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REVIEW: Australia

December 7th 2008 18:28
very disappointing . . .

Directed & Written: Baz Luhrmann (Moulin Rouge, Strictly Ballroom, Romeo & Juliet)

Starring: Nicole Kidman, Hugh Jackman, David Wenham, Bryan Brown, Jack Thompson, Ben Mendelsohn, Barry Otto, John Jarrett, Brandon Walters, David Gulpilil, David Ngoombujarra

I was determined to give Baz Luhrmann's Australia a fair go. I paid my money and I watched it beginning to end and tried to evaluate the film project on its merits. I am not a fan of Baz Luhrmann's previous work but i can appreciate why other people are. His talent is making slick vibrant productions, big gay music-filled extravaganzas, with rich cohesive visuals that arise from evenly-applied motifs. Unfortunately when it comes to Australia, Luhrmann fails to deliver even this - his trademark - and instead presents us with an extremely sloppy, badly edited shambles.

Dull story-line aside, Australia's main problem is its lack of aesthetic continuity. Not something you would generally expect from a Luhrman flick. It is hard to believe that this film is the result of a $130 million budget, when the vast majority of it appears to be filmed in front of green-screens at Fox Studios. So much for the reports of how gruelling the actors found working in the outback, they were CGI-ed into nearly every scene. I had also heard reports about how fantastic all the droving scenes were, when really they consisted of a CGI heard of cattle skittling along th edge of a steep cliff (in the outback plains?) in scenes reminiscent of the "jeeps in the jungle" car chase from the most recent Indiana Jones.




I just dont understand? Why bother taking a massive cast and crew out to our unique red dusty outback, to film a story about the magic of nature, if you are eventually just going to go the cheap and nasty cut-n-paste route. Lets just superimpose Nicole and Hugh's faces into this background we filmed earlier. Oh and heres an aerial shot we obviously spent alot of money on, but it doesnt quite fit in with the rest of the movie, so lets just do a random montage of aerial shots, oh and lets superimpose an aborigine doing a traditional dance onto one of the cliff faces, might as well make a tourist brochure with all this left-over footage.

The whole film feels very thrown together. It seems like Baz Luhrmann ran over deadline and got the work-experience girl to do the final edit. Oh it simply must be 3 hours long because it is a Luhrmann production, do not waste a single frame of footage! Where on earth is the continuity guy?

See it for Hugh Jackman, he is looking good, and sounding good too, I think he developed an extra-deep voice for the stereotypical manly role. He looks a bit like Outback Jack . . . perfectly blow-dried hair and perfectly snug fitted clothes . . . yet somehow his manicured appearance is the least questionable aspect of the whole movie.

Nicole Kidman and High Jackman in Australia


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